12nd May 2009.. (part1)

OK. I will start from the morning. First, that day I'm going to attend a speaking paper for the second time. Before this, I have taken MUET in LMC but need to take it again because I was dissatisfy with the band I got. So, I think I will be in the second group but unfortunately, I was the first group for that morning because one of the candidates from that group was absent. I was so nervous because have to be the first group but I was so lucky because I'm candidate D and it gives me more time to think for my individual presentation. I'm so glad because if I were in second group, I will be candidate A. I'm so happy. Then, let me tell you about our question. It's about which is the most important benefit a person works overseas. My benefit is memorable experience which I don't think it's not the most strong opinion at all. The other candidates opinion, can be independent, new environment and earn money. Precede to the task B, we have group discussion and I am the one start the discussion. At first, I stayed with memorable experience and i tried to convince the others. However, at the first round, we have 1-1-2. Me, choose the memorable, candidate A choose the independent and the rest choose new environment. But, it's changed after the third round and it was 1-3. I stay with my opinion and I was the minority. I try to said to the other candidates about the new environment here includes the new lifestyles like sex, drug and alcohol. How if a person addicted to these? Finally, at the last round- I changed my opinion because we must came up with a conclusion and I have to agree with their opinion. But, i'm so happy because it's already finished. So, I hope I will score about band 3 and above although I knew that I didn't do well in my listening paper. Anyway, Good luck to me!!

I will goin to tell you but I don't know when for the second part which is the worst part in my life. Ever!! Just wait.

still waiting and hoping..

Everyday, I checked the e-mail to see if there is a calling for me to attend an interview for the scholarships that I have applied before. But, I was so dissapointed because there's nothing for me except message from facebook, friendster and spam. I felt like I want to give up (again) just because of that. Anyway, I still have to WAIT and HOPE that magic will happen to me. I hope so!

Then, I want to say WELCOME HOME to all my friends and enjoy your holiday here as you can because for the next two month, you are going to leave Tawau to study again. And, I hope I will join you guys to study in university at that moment. I just hoping that will happen!! Because i'm so tired to waiting for my dream to come true.

Then, i'm sick. I have FLU and it started a few days ago. I hope it will stop before I sit for my speaking paper because it will affect my presentation and performance during that paper and of course I want to do my best! And guess what? I'm afraid if it was swine flu. Haha.. I'm not kidding because I have all the symptoms that shown except cough. I also have muscle joint but that is because I exercised so hard lately... Haha.. Exercise is one of the way to have healthy lifestyle. So, hope I will recover soon.

ok! I will post again maybe and I dont know when.

Anyway, more care less hate..

Dissapointed..

Well, I just finished my exam MUET and I think I didn't do my best. Hmm.. Let me tell you what has happened today.

For the paper reading, I really don't like the passages because it's quite hard to understand. Then, I don't have enough time to read again and checked my answer. But, I hope I can score for that paper.

Next, for the writing paper and the issue here is I don't have enough time. Ahhhh!! Guess what? For the question 1, we have to elaborate two graphs in 150-200 words and I spent about 50 minutes on this. It's really big mistake because I only have 40 minutes for question 2. Again, I don't have enough time to plan for my introduction and conclusion. So, I just plan my points. Let me tell you what the question about. The question : ICT is a cause for many social ills. Agree or not? My opinion? Disagree.. Haha.. Again, when the time is finished, I'm just finished writing my conclusion. What the heck. I hope I have enough time to write out my draft and essay.

Plus, my listening paper. OMG! I can't hear any words when the player was playing. The volume was too slow and I can't hear it well. It's one of my biggest weakness. I'm trying to listen but at last, I can't hear it. So, I just write based on logic for the subjective questions and for objective questions, I tried to take a look at someone paper and sorry, i'm cheated in exam. But, I have to do this or I will repeat again this MUET paper.

My next paper is 12nd may 2009 nad I hope I can speak coherently and clearly. All the best for me and welcome home to my friends!! Happy holiday to you and I have been in mood of holiday since April 2008. It's suck!! Hehe..

I'm nervous..

I just want to mention here.. Right now, I am listening to the song Kristy, are you doing okay by the offspring. I like this song so much and it just remind me to the song Hey There Delilah by The Plain T's.

Well, back to the thing what I'm nervous. Ya, this saturday. I'm going to take the test gaian. For the second time. It's quite embarrassed because I have to re-sit the exam again because I didn't score well on the first exam. Not all my friends know that I'm going to take MUET again this year because I scored band 2 before this.

Start from the last year, I have been studying about English. That's why I'm writing my blogs in English. I have to do this, so that I can improve. 2 days till the day. I'm nervous, again because one week before the day, I don't know what to do else. I just waste my time with sleep, eat, watch TV and online.

Nah, this April I have become sleep-addicted and I don't know why. Anyway, I hope I will do well on this exam and score the band that I want or I have to repeat it again for the third times. Hmm... I think I don't have problem because my grammar, writing and speaking really improved compared to the last year.

But, the thing that I still don't fix is my listening. Haha.. I'm a half-deaf (I can't hear well from my left ear) that's why I can't score in listening paper. But, I will try.

Anyway Rosly, good luck for the exam and I want to say good luck to my friends too who will or already take their exam start from this month. Good Luck everybody!!

the phone interview..

Huh.. Finally, I'm so glad because I have attended the interview and I want to finish it as soon as possible. The interviewer called me about 2pm and I have been waiting in a private room in my home about 1.45pm. I'm so nervous and excited because I'm afraid if I can't answer she about what she asked me about and this is the first interview in my life. I hope I have done my best because I want this scholarship badly. She told me that the interview will took time about 45-60 minutes but the actual thing is she interview me for about 1 hour and 30 minutes. It such a long time and I'm so tired after the interview. Almost the question that she asked me is about my achievement. It's so hard because I don't have enough time to think my answer and I just think the first thing that came to my mind. Guess what? When she asked me about my achievement, I just thought about The Amazing Race in matrix that I join. I don't know what to answer else. What the heck!! haha.. Then, she asked me about my next achievement and I just think about my english assignment in LMC> Haha.. I don't know what to else. Hmm.. After that, she gave me four topics and I have to choose which one I want to elaborate. I choose the last topic because it is the only topic that I can hear the whole sentences. She asked me to elaborate about how the internet affected the business? Haha.. I'm keep talking and I just want to finish it. Lastly, the interview ends. I hope I will make it and shortlist for the next interview. I hope i will make it!! What I can say? This is my very first interview and I'm felt so lucky because I have the chance.. Thank you..

Finally..

Finally, the sun shines for me for the time of my life. I can fell the light and warm. It heat me so much and this is what I need in my life. A chance for me to prove to them that I'm the most eligible person that they have been looking for. However, I'm still not sure if I will attend the interview because my family seem like don't want me to attend the interview. Because of their skeptical thought, that I will waste my parents' money only if I don't shortlist as the successful candidate. Yeah, I know there will be winner and loser in the game but before that, I should give it a try. Maybe it'll change my life at all. I don't afraid for the outcome but at least, I give it a try.

Just like the song of David Cook, 'the time of my life', that's song is really fix with me so much. Because I have been waiting for this dream, something that impossible to do but I will just try it and give my best. Now, I can feel my world start to turn because for the chance that they give me. Not only that, but the song by Miley Cyrus also fix with me because the lyrics. I almost can see it, of course my dream. But, there's a voice inside my head that I'll never reach it because of my weakness. For every seconds in my life, I have thought that it's impossible. Hmm.. I don't know but I will give it a try and give my best again for that day again. I want to say thank you so much for the chance that they give to me and I appreciated it!! Thanks!!

Give up!!

Huh? Who is the laziest person in the world? For this moment, I would say myself. Ahh.. I'm the laziest person in the world and i don't know what's wrong with me. Everyday, I felt so tired until I can't study and prepare for the coming exam. I have my plan on what I should do due to the date but I don't follow it well. When I felt like I want to do it, I will. But, if I'm in bad mood.. Now way I will study.. I will just surf the net and watch TV. What the heck with me? I hope someone will help me and give me support because I felt like I want to gave up. I have many things to gave up. I'm so tired to think about my chance to precede my study in higher education. I can't hold this anymore. Sometimes, I have been thinking that I won't precede my study this year and maybe I won't precede my study anymore. What stucked in my mind was I just want to work and earn money. Build new life and make my parents happy with me, not suffer. I also has gave up with my ID card. I have been wait for 8 months and I still don't have any response from them. I don't know if I can wait for it anymore but I felt so tired. I think I can wait, but till when do I have to wait? 2010? OMG!! It's so suck. I don't know what elso to do anymore. Then, I felt gave up too with my scholarships. I don't care about it anymore. I just have applied for seven scholarships and I have rejected by three scholarships. I'm trying to say to myself that I will get one scholarship at least but sometimes I think I won't. This is due to the same problem that I have faced since I was form . Ohh.. It's has been 7 years I still don't settle my problem. With all these problems, its gave me effect to my preparation to study. I'm going to take the exam on 25th april and I still haven't study anything yet. At this moment, I need anyone who can help me. Give me moral support please!! I don't know what else to do. I felt like there's no need for me to do well in my exam because perhaps I won't precede my study at all. Sometimes, we have to give up on dreams, so that we can looking for another dreams. I have to gave up on my ID card, precede my study and scholarship because I have new dream.. That is because I want to make my family happy with me. I know it's only me have the chance to change my family situation but there are a lot ways I can do that. Not only precede my study will make they happy with me, but I will try looking for permanent job and working for all my life until I can earn my money and give it to my parents. Hmm.. I know I shouldn't sigh about my fate but sometimes, you have to know when to forget and give up in your dreams because you won' make it eventhough you have try your best. but, this doesn't mean that my hope will end here but the actual thing is, there are new chances coming after me and I just have to put my effort and looking for it. I know there will be something for me. I know it was God the biggest plan for me but I have no idea what it is about. So, what I have to do just looking for it on the horizon, magic rainbow. Anyway, I'm looking toward for the new life!!