so stressed!!

Hmm, so stressed because apply PTPTN online.. Have many errors.. And I only have few days before the end date of applying PTPTN!! So stress!! Damn!!

new life, new friends and all in all, everything is new..

In case if I'm forgot to tell you guys that curently, I'm studying in Universiti Teknologi Petronas and majoring in Chemical Engineering. What I can say about this place is awesome and cool. I love this place so much. really love it and thanks a lot to Allah for this chance. I'm going to tell you about my experience here. First, what I can say about is all people here speak in English. Haha, majority of them used English because we have a lot international students here that from mostly, African and arab. I hope I can befriend with them because I really want to improve my English so much. I need to improve or I will left behind because all students, they used english in class, lecture and anywhere. Me? sometime.. But, I will do it slowly. Slowly but consistent.



For the first week, I attent the MAS (Minggu Aluan Siswa) and I only managed to attend this MAS on thursday but MAS started few days before thursday. If I'm not mistaken, it's saturday. I just got my offer when it was monday and I only have three days only to prepare for everything and packed my stuff. Luckily, I have friend to come here with him and thanked to him, rasid because he's really helped me a lot here. Helped me with introducing me with some new friends and new place. All in all, for the first week, I depend on him because he know everything.



About my class, ya, for this first year semester one, I only have to take 13 credit hours only and my favorite courses are differential equations and organic chemistry. You know what? My lecturer that teach me Organic Chemistry, ya, he is from Rusia. When he teach in lecture and tutorial, I felt like in foreign country like Rusia with his accent. But, I love that. Hmm, i just quite worried about english so much because almost of the lecturer teach in English. So, I

IDK~

IDK refers to I don't knowand I'm going to write about IDK because I still don't know how's my life going and headed. I just don't know what will happen to me in the future. I really have no idea about my careerm life and family. It's just blank and I have nothing because everyday, I do the same thing over and over again and get sick of it. I need something to change because I'm so tired waiting of it. But, I can't say this normally because it will only just ruined my mood and only let me thinking negative things only. I still have my parents' prayer and I do believe. At this moment, I'm watching Oprah's show and today topic is interesting because she said " don't stop believing". It is what I need and I shouldn't stop believing because I do believe that God has much better plan for me for me. And I hope it's right. Still my life, it's just like that and nothing change. Usually, wake up at 9am( I know it's too late) but what you know, I'm so tired from the yesterday because I have to do the same thing again and again and I'm tired of it. I'm sorry if repetition occurs here but it's just what flow from my mind and I really don't care about my grammar errors. Just this day, I edited my UPU and also, USM and I hope I can precede my study this year. Really hoping that so much because this is the last chance or I am going to GIVE UP. Ya, this time I really mean it. I'm sorry because I have to stop believing and have to looking for another alternative ways for me to improve my life and become success.

That's all for my latest update from me and I have tumblr and I find it's awesome. Join me if you have tumblr.

www.kiorsly.tumblr.com

what if I die before achieving my dreams? Part 2

Now, I'm going to continue with the topic that I write about. Actually, I just thought about this topic just after when read about my friend blog. It's just so sad and I don't know how many times did I tell you that it was so sad and I will remember the tragedy if I read or hear anything that related to Banggi and Boat tragedy. So, I decided to write a post about this.

I just feel what if I die before I achieving my dream? How will family will face it? I know that I am the one only hope from family and sorry my beloved sis, Kikie I didn't mean to say this but it's the reality, I'm boy and I'm the one that have to bear the responsibility. Because before this I promise myself, that I will make my parents happy and proud of me for giving birth to me. I know that I really want to make you happy and I know I already did that few times but I want more. I want to give you, my parents happiness and the life that we've never feel like before. that's why I want to study badly and do my well. I want to be success boy which will bring happiness to you and I won't make you regret for having son like me. It's just what I want to say about the main goal for my life. But, suddenly I just thought about what if I die before I make them happy? :( will them live the life like nothing happen? Or will they survive without me? I don't know the answer but what I really hoping that is I hope I can make them happy and proud of me.

Ya, almost people know that I want to study more than anyone else. I really want to study and it'sa bout two years I finished matric in Labuan. Just said, what if I die before I am precede my study in university? I think I will be a ghost that will precede my study in UTM and taking Petroleum Engineering and study just like other students do. (just kidding hor..) I need to precede my study as soon as possible or either I will loss interest to study anymore and I don't want that to happen.

You know, just today I checked UITM appeal result and I failed (again and I don't know how much time I failed to place myself in university). But, it's okay because I have the last way to place myself in UITM. What I have to do is to go to UITM and ask if they can put one more place for me. and I hope I can do that. Maybe I will go this monday and Good Luck Rosly, I hope you can make your dream come true..

what if I die before achieving my dreams?

Ya, I know that I shouldn't thinking about that.. It's one of thing(die) that must be faced by us. I didn't like to write or hear anything that related about it because just if I hear someone is die or I read, it's really make me worried and sad about my life. That's why I want to write about this. Just today, I read my friend blog, Jenyfer and thanks to her for sharing the story. It's really make me think about thousand times about the life and death, make me remember my family in Tawau and you know, when I take a walk outside my auntie's home, it's really windy and this again make me feel more sad, so sad.. It's just about the boat tragedy that happen in Banggi and I really don't know about the story. Just after I read the story, then I feel sad from the bottom of my heart and here's the link for you to read. Just be prepare because again, it's so sad and if I were on his shoes, I don't know how I'm going to face it.

http://www.norifpaival.com/2009/12/banggi-tragedy/

Hmm.. I really just don't know what to write else because I'm not in the mood and this story, I don't know.. It's just so sad and make me thinking about what would happen if I didn't achieve my dream?


to be continue..

December 31, 2009

Today is the last day for this year, 2009. I felt so sad want to leave this year actually because there are many amazing things happen to me this year. But, there's also sad moments that also happened to me. Ya, this year seems like a roller coaster emotion for me. Also, this blog will be the last post for 2009 because about in half day, we are going to celebrate 2010. With the coming of 2010, it means that I'm growing up and I am 21 years old. Not happy actually with the number because 21 seems old enough and I have to change my characters to be more mature, not childish. Anyway, let's hope the best thing will happen for the next coming of 2010. I'm writing this blog because I just want you guys and gals to know what are the amazing things that has happened to me this year recently and I also want to encourage you to do the same thing for your blog.

Ya, I have to admit that December is so amazing month of this year because first, Sime Darby and second, Educamp in UTP. You know, although the sime darby interview is the hardest part ever in my life, I still have to think positive about it and take it as a great experience for me to gain more confident and being more friendly to anyone. Sime darby interview also taught me a lot to be more independent, just say what you believe and no more shyness. It also pushed me to the limit so that I can reach the boundaries that has separated me from achieving my dream. And I'm so graceful for that awesome sime darby interview although I don't think I will shortlisted for the last stage. Never mind because the most important thing is I enjoyed that moment. Next, also taught me a lot is educamp in UTP. I have told you about this educamp in my latest blog ( only if you care to read it ). I just found out that Educamp is freaking aweosme because I learn a lot from there although it was hard for me for the first time because I have to take bus from Shah Alam to Ipoh by myself, ask people for direction and sleep at the Bus Station. Ya, it's a bit scary and actually, that was not me who used to be like someone that will asked for direction, take bus to Ipoh by my own because usually I need someone to company to go to UTP. But, luckily, I did it my myself and it's good enough to show that I'm starting to be more independent. Educamp is awesome because we have quizzes about math and science, interview like MUET exam, meet new friends and guess what? I think it was only me that from sabah. But, it's okay because I learn to adapt new environment and new friends.

Another thing is about my MUET. It's just okay since I've got Band 3 for that exam and it was amazing for me because after working hard for almost 1 month, I think so, finally, I don't have to re-sit MUET exam again although I have low mark for listening and speaking sections. Never mind because I am weak on this sections. Anyway, thanks god for making me pass this exam although I have to learn all by myself and luckily, I have improved my english. Thanks god.

Also, we get new member in ourfamily. His name is Mohd. dhiyaulhaq and damn, he is so cute! Love him so much and just now, I missed him a lot because I think it has been one month I didn't kiss or talk to him. Maybe at this moment he's know how to crawl and I hope I can meet him before he started to learn walk. Anyway, just want to say welcome to our family, Ulhaq.

However, what I want to make this year, I want to study seem like only a daydream because this year 2009, I still not pecede my study yet and it was so sad because I can't achieve my dream to pursue my study in University. So sad. Anyway, I can't stop from hoping because I know there will be a light at the end of the road and what I have to do is just hoping and do my best. You can do it, Rosly..

That's all for 2009 and I'm welcoming 2010 and I hope this year, everything will be right just for me and Happy New Year my friends..

Educamp in UTP (20-21 december 2009)

I'm gonna tell you the story of my experience when I'm traveling to Perak by myself. It's quite scary experience because I have to do all the things by myself. Form that, I learn to be independent. So, I took bus to Medan Gopeng Station Bus which is located in Ipoh, Perak. So, I arrived at there about 2.00am and the bus sent me to the bus stop not the bus station. What the heck. So, while I'm still blur and just woke up, I just sat at the bus stop and don't know what should I do. I'm afraid because it's already 2.00am and fortunately, there are still few people around the bus stop. I took decision to stay in a hotel which I saw just across the road and in front me but unfortunately, it's full. So, with my heavy bags, I went back to the bus stop and sit for about 15 minutes because I don't know what I should I do. I don't have any idea where I am and where I will sleep for that night. I told myself that I should ask anyone to show me the direction to the Medan Gopeng Station Bus because i'm sure I can sleep at there. But, due to my shyness I'm afraid and shy to ask for direction. After thinking for a while, I told myself till when do I have to let my shyness stop me from asking? So, with taking brave step, I asked a woman and has baby on her arm toa sk for that staion bus. Luckily, she know that place and she told me that I should just go straight that way and I will find it. Thanks to that woman for showing me the direction. So, I pick my bags and go to the bus statioan and manage to find the place. After I arrived at there and found out that I felt safe because people are still awake. I try to find surau but when I managed to find it, it's closed. After that, I go to the chairs at the place nd trying to sleep. But, I just really sleep only 2 hours for that whole night because my back and neck are hurt. Damn!

In the morning, I met a friend and guess what? I'm the first one who started the talking because it was not me that always start talking with people. I would rather to keep quiet all the time and let people ask me. The bus arrived in 7.00am and it's still dark, It it were in Tawau, it's already bright day. Then, the bus brought us to Tronoh where UTP is located. I think the journey took about 30 minutes. I take a nap in the bus because I'm so sleepy. First impression of UTP; quite beautiful, nice and I want to study here. I think we're late because there are many people already at there. We're registered and I met my roomate, Ahmad Firdaus who is SPM leaver. Then, we started introduced ourself and we became so closed because the similarty between me and him,we don't know anyone from the educamp. I'm so lucky to know him. After we found our room, we have to go to the main hall where we have to take bus to go to that place. Again, the main hall is awesome with library at his side. The library is so awesome but we didn't enter it yet. Damn it. After we enter the the main hall, the place in super duper awesome and I think it's quite big and I don't know how much people can be put in the main hall. It's just awesome. F**k. Hence, we're giving about the brief or Petronas and UTP. There are also 1400 aplliant but only 700 persons luckily to join this educamp. But, only 571 only manage to came at all which only 500 students only will be sorted into UTP and I am hoping that I am the one of the 500 luckiest person to enter this amazing UTP.

After finished with the boring briefing, we took lunch and the faci told us that we have two tests for this evening. I was shocked because it was too early. Then, we're go back to the out room and rest for this evening test. So, we are waiting outside the exam hall and this waiting just remind me of my KML moment. It's just like us, matriculation students waiting outside the hall for taking the exam and I just realize that I missed matric life so much. After longer waiting, we took our first paper. It was English Placement Test. It's quite easy because just objective questions and we have to answer 50 questions in 1 hour only. But, I finished it earlier and feel sleepy during the test because english is suck. Then, we took a break for 15 minutes and sat for the next test and it was mathemathic and science test. Damn!! The test is combination between chemistry, physics and additional math questions for SPM. S**t! I already forget what I learn three years ago but fortunately, I still remember what I learn in matric. Thank god for that. But, I don't know if I still answer them correct. But guess what? it's about the time and we have 40 questions and again, one hour only. But I think I do well on this test. After the test, we go back to our room and sleep.

In the night, we have talk which I found the most boring moment in this educamp. But I just found out that almost 65% of the participants of this educamp want chemical engineering. Wow, it was really shock me and I already know that because many people more tend to take chemical engineering. I choose Petroleum engineering because this is what I want. I want to work with oila nd gas company and I know UTP can achieve my dream. From my observation, only 10% student want to take petroleum engineering. After the talk, we went outside and take alook of the list because we have interview sesion for tomorrow and I was in the last group E-10-2. After that, we go back to our room and sleep.

In the next morning, I wake up and felt so nervous because today is the day where we have interview. It will be handle like MUET test and luckily, I have experience on this stuff, Our session only will start in 2.00pm and we have a lot time to prepare. Fortunately, my roomate and me got the same group E but he was in different group. We have individual and group discussion for that ibnterview. Our topic for that day is Aid. It's so hard and I hardly understand the topic. But, I just focus and started to write my points. For my individual presentation, I've the aid shouldn't need a formal request and what should government do? So, when I'm walking to the room,Ifelt so nervous and luckily my interviewers, they are so nice. First, they asked me why I choose UTP and what course did I want to attend. After that, I started to explain my points and the woman asked me questions and I was very happy because i can hear what she said tome and I can answer it. Again, thanks God. But, I think I'm doing it bad during the group discussion but what I know just said what I think is correct. Fuh, I felt relievd after the interview and I am packing my bag again to go to Putrajaya and I follow my friend to go back to Shah Alam. I arrived here about 12.00am and it was very tired day.

Hmm.. I think it is the longest blog i wrote and I felt satisfied with the educamp and I am hoping that I will sorted into UTP. I really want this so badly because I need to study this year and I have to forget about study and start thinking for another option, working. Anyway, all the best from me and let's just hoping for the best! Good luck, Rosly!!