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Sometimes when we say things, we hear silence. Or only like echoes. Like screaming from inside. And that's really lonely. But that only happens when we weren't really listening. It means we weren't ready to listen yet. Because everytime we speak, there is a voice. There is the world that answers back (Love letters to the dead, Ava Dellaira)

Love Letters to the Dead vs The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I am just in the middle of reading, a long very long wait in the wish-list book - Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira. I have been looking for that book like forever. Now, I have the book and almost finished it. I remember it exactly whom did recommended that book. Thanks and it is amazing. But, great deeply - when I read that book- the more I read and immerse myself, the more I feel like I have read a kind of similar book. Yes, it is - The perks of being a wallflower. Also, great book and great movie.

Both of the books - the narrations is quite different from other books that I have read. Like every chapter, it is start with writing letter to someone. Like, Dear you.. Dear someone.. The different of these two books make - one of them using artist as the recipients of the book. Like Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Elizabeth Bishop, Kurt and many more while the others, only using one subject which is dear you. I believe that Charlie is writing the letter to his best friend, who died of shot himself with the gun. The reason, is still unknown because it is not really the main plot of what the writer want to tell in the book.

Another similarity that I found from the books, both of them - have someone special and very close to them - but died of suicide. Laurel is grieving because of the lost of her older sister, and blame herself for the tragic accident and she is the last person who saw her. While in another story, Charlie is losing her auntie Helen which she died because of the car accident. Both of them cant cope with the situation and day by day, things are getting emotional and fortunately, things change for them- which is good.

Just my two cents, how did people cope with the loss of someone who they loved? It is just extremely saddening occasion, because the people you used to talk everyday, and feel her presence - suddenly gone. Forever. To make things worst even, sometimes - there are few things when people are getting attached to any memories - object, place and emotion. Everything is connected and is able to put emotion to the people. How did the cope? Did they learnt day by day to move on?

Just another thing, how does it is possible for a mom or dad - going separately after their daughter die? and leave the other children which is obviously need someone to be closer to them. It is good to grieving and it is the best if we have someone who can rely, who can story together and anybody for depending. So, the only question that I really got through, how does it is happen? I mean, yeah - the parents leave their children to cope all of these by themselves? I will understand it if they are in the mid of 20 or plus, but we are talking about age of 12 and 15, something like that. At this age, everything is so fragile. At this age, you will need someone to depend on, to make role for look forward and suddenly, the parents are not there. Do you see what kind of the problems that the are going to face? How socially affected the children later in the future because they are going to shaped the future but without the guidance of the parents? Do you see what I am talking about?

I guess that is all what I want to share - sometimes, I feel emotional when I am reading books. I take it as a compliment because a good book is a book that can make feel emotional and questioning whatever inside it. Just recently, I am trying to find another books which can help me to read more and more and more because it made me who I am.

jangan menjadi buta kerana..

Ingat tugas di dunia bukan untuk mencari harta kekayaan semata2, tetapi adalah untuk menuntut ilmu. Sebab itu bukan segala2nya, ingat tanggungjawab sebab even benda tu halal, still kena ingat tanggungjawab. Kalo pusing2 sana sini, benda tu still menjadi haram even cukup syarat pasal mengabaikan tanggungjawab. lagi, menyalahgunakan. Pandai pikir la sendiri pasal da besar panjang. Aku no comment. Just menyuarakan di sini.. :)

*This post is in my draft since 2011 and I dont know what I did not publish it yet. There you go, time for updating. This is the second post for 2015 and I don't know what it took so long until June 2015 for updating.

Books..

My hobby. Always been scolded by my mom, to buy book. Always. No matter how many books that I have not finished yet, I still want to buy it. The pic above, still not read it yet. But, it give me a different feeling of satisfaction of what I believe and love the most. This is kind an addiction, but a good one. Reading helps me experience a lot of things that is unimaginable.

kejarlah impian.

kejarlah impian. I just watched this youtube vid, which is about kejarlah impian. Just a video from my hometown and the boy was creative for producing this. check it out kejarlah impian

After I finished watch the video, I asked my self. What is my dream? Took me five minutes to figure out and realized about everything. When I was a kid, all I want is books. I really love books. I guess it is influenced from a series that I watch when I was small. I even keep a dream to pursuit my study to oversea in Harvard University. It is all just a dream. Then, when I was in secondary school - I really love chemistry. It is one of my favorite subject at all, and make me realizes I want to be a chemical engineer and continue further my study in UTP. I guess I got that one huh?

and now, here I am. Sitting in front of my laptop, with a title of Solution Engineer - do I happy with my job? Is this my current job is all what I want? Am I happy with it? It is a dream come true? the questions never end.

People always said, go for you happiness. If you are not happy with your job anymore, quit it. Try to find the new one. easy. But, it is not as easy like people said when you have commitment. Life is too short to waste our time for something that we are not enjoy everyday. Why? Because when it is happens, all you think is money. No motivation. Now, your intention for your job, all is about money. No more because I want to learnt, I really love what I am doing. Those reason, you can say bye2. Nowadays, it is normal for those people to accept job for the sake of the money.

Even during my study in UTP, I am confident that I am going to further my study. I am so clear about what I want to do. I want to try to jump to PHD and skip master. and be a lecturer. After all, it is what I want also. I love teaching. I love studying. Who doesn't? hahahaha. Maybe I will try find time to further my study part time. Who knows it will happen eventually? Because it is up to me.

Go catch your dream.

present, past and future.

We should only bother about the present and the future. Forget about what happened in the past. But still, learnt from your part. Sometimes, people will never let go of the past. Even me still have few clings with my past. Deep regret and wish I can turn back the time. Move on.

All I want to say to is, start to appreciate everything what you have in front of u. be grateful. be cherish. be happy for whatever it is. because you will never satisfied if you want more, more and more. and guess what, when you start thinking about it, you will feel depressed. and it is not a good thing. it is not worth it.

happy sunday!

bahagia?

"Bahagia ni sebenarnya benda yang kita ada. Bukan benda yang kita cari. Kalau kita terus cari benda tu, maksudnya benda tu kita tak ada" - KELABU.