the future of mine.. (part 1)

ya, there is one thing that I am afraid in my life.. the future life. I really don't know if I will be able to face it in the future. It is kinda of my job, will I be able to find a job after I graduate from UTP? I really cannot answer that right now because due to my lack skills of communication, I am afraid and so worried if I will not even pass the interview. Even you study smart, study hard and get better result every semester, still you have to face it, INTERVIEW. Interview is the test that where they will test your communication skills and they will give few tasks, ask about your background and etc, but YES, we have all the ideas in our head, sadly in MALAY we can say it bla bla bla but when it come to ENGLISH, OMG I really don't know what to say..

I will stuck here, there.. uhmm, emmm.. typical sounds come out.. and to make the thing worst, I didn't answer very well for my individual presentation for PCS. WTF! Really dissapointed because I know that I can answer them very well but it is just that I am very nervous.. I really need to improve my communication skills and need to take extra class for this but didn't it is too late?? Hmm.. Really don't know what to say...

I know that I should less complaining and maybe some people will say, what is his problems? He can write well and YES, I can write well but when it come to speak, I am the WORST.. and a reminder to myself, I will have another evaluation the next Monday which is about business meeting. In this part, we need to solve the problem and this is one of tasks that I am afraid because this will required me to speak spontaneously.

Back to the business <-- quoted from my friends ( they used this in their PCS presentation ) the future.. I don't know if I will pass the interview but never mind, I will try my best.. I know that I am not speak very well and this is because I have problem with my communication and because of that, I have low self esteem.. Sometime, I always used to think what's the point to study, get better result but you still cannot speak very well in ENGLISH? How am I going to face the interview? Will I be able to answer the problem? Will I be able to solve the problems? Sometimes, even think about this can make me feel I don't want to study anymore.. This will keep me down.. and sometime, I will do nothing.. Also until at this moment, I still feel I should not take CHEMICAL ENGINEERING.. I just should take physics, chemistry subjects and teach in high schools..

to be continue...